Husbands Never Get yelled Wife (English version)

"Please be honest. Who is the husband here who have never scolded his wife? "I asked the male participants in a training Wonderful Family. Trainees are married couples over the age of marriage in ten years.

A man raises his hand firmly. Only one person, a man of about sixty participants who followed the training. Of course I feel surprise, since more than ten years of marriage and she has never been scolded by his wife. To that end, as appreciation, I asked the man to come forward with his wife forum.

"Right you've never yelled at his wife during marriage age are you?" I asked the husband.

"Yes sir Cah. Thank God my wife was very kind. I never saw him get angry, "he replied firmly.

"Is that right? Can you tell me how the tips of more than ten years of marriage and you never got angry with her husband, "ask my wife.

"It is not true that Mr. Cah. This means that as long as she never knew if I was mad. She never knew my anger, "replied his wife.

This answer spontaneously invited fresh laughter from all participants who number around one hundred and twenty people. Initially the participants would like to get tips from this couple, how home life has been more than ten years but there was never any anger in it. But it happened is not like that.

Doll Knitting Stories

This incident reminds me of the old story that also I've posted in Kompasiana about the doll knit. Once upon a time there lived a pair of grandparents in a cool, distant suburbs. They live happily in marriage, almost 60 years they lived together as husband and wife. In general, they seem happy just like many other couples. They promise to trust each other and always keep each partner.

Throughout sixty (60) years of living together, it is no secret that they hide, except for a box saved by an old grandmother on top of cabinets, inside their bedroom. He always warned her husband not to touch the box altogether. During this time, her husband was never violated the request.

Until one day, an old grandmother fell ill and had to be treated in intensive care ICCU of a hospital. The husband took time to go home to pick up the box and took it to the side of his wife. Worried that the period of his wife's death was near. His wife agreed. He feels it is worth the time to open the box.

When the box is opened, the husband was surprised to see the contents. In the box there is a certain amount of money in large quantities. The banknotes neatly tied with a rubber band. When calculated, amounted to US $ 95,000 or more than Rp 950 million. Inside there are also two knitting dolls.

"Where is this all, Grandma?" the husband asked.

"The length of a story", she begins to open up the story. "Since the beginning of marrying you, my grandmother telling secrets happy marriage. According to him, the secret is that I do not quarrel with you, so I should be able to control anger," he said.

"Initially it was not easy for me to control my anger," added his wife. "Until the end of my grandmother advised, when I was getting upset with you, should I knit dolls," said the wife.

The husband heard carefully. Hearing it now he began to understand why there are two dolls knitting in that box. He also felt very touched because the patience of his wife. Nearly sixty years of living together, she was just angry twice only. Proved to be only two dolls knitting in that box.

But he was still curious about the money. "Then where this much money, Grandma? Are you saving from spending our money?" the husband asked.

"The money earned from selling the dolls sewing result. The result is always I keep it in the box," she replied softly.

Understanding Anger Couple

It turns out that money is the sale of knitted dolls while channeling anger toward her husband. I do not know how many dolls were made and how much anger that successfully buried his wife. Now her new husband understand, how far is very much the attitude and treatment hurt his wife.

Clever way to channel the anger of his wife, until her husband did not know that was very much his actions that hurt his wife. Not counted how many knitting doll has been created and sold by his wife over the years. Indicating that it's very much the rage that successfully channeled in a positive way by the wife and husband are not known.

Two stories above indicates, the husband or wife's anger is not always understood by their partner. It may be that the husband is angry and hurt to a wife, but as good at hiding or channeled positively, until she does not know if her husband angry. Similarly, there could be a wife angry and embittered toward her husband, but it is not known by the husband.

Here there are two sides that must be observed by married couples.

First, if you're angry, let attempting to channel the positive and constructive manner. Do not channel the anger with the words, actions and attitudes are negative and destructive. The distribution of this negative example with expletives, yelling, obscenities, profanity, obscenities, punch, kick, break things, and so forth. "How to" get angry like this is very easy to do and very easy also understood by the couple. No need to explain with words "I'm angry", but if the negative expression as described above, with a very easy partner will feel and understand his anger. Expression of negative and destructive anger does not produce any good either for themselves or for couples. Especially when it already had a child, anger as it will be an inspiration for them.

You should always learning and trying to channel anger in a positive and constructive. For example --- for Muslims --- the ablutions, the sunnah prayer, seek forgiveness, and other spiritual activities. Should always remember that anger is not a feature of the future tenants of heaven, as the Prophet's words "Do not be angry for you heaven". Or channeled to productive action, such as by sports, hard work, and distribute to the real work. Knitting puppet story above is just one example of distribution upset with work and real work.

Second, should strive to grasp and understand the partner's anger. Each person has a unique expression of anger, not always the same as the others. Therefore, each of us should strive to recognize the partner's anger expression, and the level or levels of anger. With recognize it, we will know how angry a couple, although only expressed through silence and cold facial expression.

When we know the central pair angry, should you try over and calm him down. Very nice if at first you already have an agreement with a partner on the "attitudes expected the pair when he was angry". With it you will know what is pleasing and reassuring partner when he was mad at you. Participate angry, replying to anger with anger, or leaving the couple who were angry, not an appropriate action. If one amid angry, others should try to remain cool and calm. If you do not understand the rage a couple, you feel it is fine, but the middle of the store 'time bomb' ready to explode at any moment. Be careful.

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